Day Twenty-two: normal service is resumed

I’ve been feeling pretty rubbish the last few days, a combination of feeling sorry for myself about Sunday’s results, my insomnia making renewed inroads into my sleep patterns, and probably some uncalled for hormonal surge – always a good one to blame things on I find.

I had no problem completing a fast day on Monday, but over the last two days I have been reverting to some less than ideal eating habits, with a lot of snacking and ready-made food that ironically makes me feel even more lethargic. (On the upside, I have cycled the two (and a bit) miles to the station on both days, so I can give myself a small pat on the back for that.)

A number of the feedback comments I have had since Sunday touched on the approach to non-fast days. While desperately clinging to the promise I made to myself to not count calories in between fast days, I started doing some reading around the subject. The fast diet forums are a wealth of experience and advice, and Michael Mosley himself chips in on the subject of plateaus and speeding up weight loss.

http://thefastdiet.co.uk/forums/topic/more-on-what-to-do-if-youre-not-losing-weight-five-things-to-consider/

The basis of the 5:2 strategy is that you fast 2 days a week, and eat “normally” on the other 5. So the next question is – what is “normal”? I've never been very good at normal, in so many areas of my life, so where to even start?

My rationale has been, to this point, that if the balance of food and exercise I was achieving before starting on the 5:2 strategy, was giving me a steady size and weight, then I could carry on with that for my 5 non-fast days, and the fasting days would give me the reduction I needed to lose weight. That seems to be the implication in the BOOK, with even some hinting that you could pretty much eat anything you like the rest of the time.

Obviously, this simply isn’t true. If you assume that you eat 2000kCal on “normal days” and 500 on fast days, you are down 3000kCal per week (compared to eating 2000 every day) which equates to about 1 pound of fat lost. If however you eat 2600 on each normal day and 500 on fast days, you are evening up again, so no loss. And as we all know, 600 calories ain’t a lot of food. Or in my case, not a lot of wine. I also know from my health report records that my weight has not, actually, been stable over the last 3 years, it has been slowly but steadily increasing.

I have wrestled with the prospect of counting on non-fast days and I am still holding out against it. But it would appear that I do need to do something, to avoid sabotaging my efforts on fast days. One idea that my boyfriend suggested when I started (and I instantly dismissed, of course), popped up on the forum. The idea is to simply log what you eat for a limited amount of time, in order to identify foods which might be causing problems and could be easily avoided. Examples of shock foods exposed by this include Mosley’s muffins – yes, we instinctively know they are not great for you but finding out that they can be up to 600kCal which is a quarter of your daily requirement comes as a surprise – and breakfast cereal, specifically granola, which seems to be a healthy choice but is packed with sugar and calories.

As any good scientist knows, as soon as you start to measure something, you run the risk of altering the very parameter that you are trying to monitor. This particularly applies with food diaries and calorie counting. As soon as you know you have to write it down, you immediately start making different choices about what to eat. If you log the calories as you go, your choices are likely to be even more affected. This is why food diaries have been shown to be such effective weight loss tools.

Added to this, one unintended consequence of food diaries is that as some foods are tricky to estimate calories for, people using this method tend to avoid home-made fresh food in favour of pre-packaged pre-counted items, which isn’t always a healthy choice.

For the purpose of this exercise, I want to minimise the changes to my choices, in order to get useful data on what is “normal” for me and how I can improve. Therefore for the next week or so, I am going to write down everything I eat, but will not be looking up the calories. At the end of the period I will go through and add it all up, and probably give myself heart failure. I’m already regretting yesterday morning’s bacon sandwich.

I’m aware that my estimates may not be very accurate in the final reckoning, as I won’t be weighing foods to the last gram or querying the ingredients in my take-away curry. I’m not too bothered by this as what I am looking for is patterns and comparisons, items that really jump out, rather than a 100% perfect record of my consumption. On second thoughts, I may have to measure the wine volume…

I’m sure that I will change some of my food choices along the way, but hopefully that will not be a bad thing and I will avoid becoming obsessive about it. Knowing it is for a limited period will help. I’m committed to getting healthy and active and improving the quality of my life as a result, and I have lots of wonderful support to help me get there, so no excuses. As always, results will be reported here.

Day Twenty-one: thank-you...

...to everyone who took time to leave me a note after my rather wallowing self-pity party yesterday, both here and on Facebook - Sarah, April, Eric, Vel, sis - and of course my darling Dream and my lovely bf who gave me lots of cuddles and didn't judge me for being a miserable old bag. It's really great to get support from other people who are doing this, especially if they have been at it for a lot longer than me!

The irony is that I have always intended this to be a long term effort. One of the things I like about the approach is that it is so sustainable, I'm sure I could keep going with it indefinitely. But, but, but... 

I will be back on my bike tomorrow so hopefully that will make a difference, both to my results and my overall energy levels. I would love to do more exercise but my joints protest if I try too much, even walking.

I really, really, really don't want to count calories on non-fast days. It completely defeats the object for me. The whole point of this strategy was not to have to watch every mouthful every day. As it is, I rarely eat pudding/cake/chocolate and have much smaller portions than I used to. As I write that, I'm remembering the stolen Cadbury's Heroes from the tin at work last week... dammit!

So. Onwards and downwards. Today is going to be a very long day. I'm getting overwhelming urges to eat mountains of toast. But I'm not bloody going to. Instead I'm giving a big wave to the three people who I know started fasting last week (you know who you are) - brilliant effort all round and I look forward to having you along on this journey.

Trying to stay motivated

So today was weigh day, and as expected, the results weren't great. I've lost 2 pounds in the last 4 weeks, one inch off my waist and stayed the same everywhere else.

It's hard not to feel disappointed. I've been finding the fast days are getting easier, so the irrational part of my brain wonders if I'm not suffering enough to get results. Does it have to be horribly hard work in order for me to deserve the benefits that I want?

Looking at the maths, if I continue to lose at a rate of 2 pounds every 4 weeks, it will take me another 6 months or so to get to my 10% goal. That feels wretched.

Trying to looking at it positively, I've now lost a total of 10 pounds and 5 inches off my waist. This is actual progress, compared with not doing anything and getting gradually fatter and fatter. In that respect, I have no choice but to keep going. The alternative is to pretty much give up hope of ever getting healthy and active. I walked to the park and played with my kids for an hour yesterday, and my hips, knees and ankles were aching badly by the evening. This is the longest I ever stayed on any kind of program and I know that trying something else will be even less effective, so however slow progress is, I have to stick with it.

Fast day again tomorrow.

Day Twenty: timing and experimentation

There are quite a few schools of thought in the diet world that claim that when you eat is as important as what you eat. Debate has raged over whether it is healthier to eat three regular meals a day, or graze 5/6 smaller snacks instead. Accepted wisdom is that the earlier in the day you eat, the better - we are constantly urged to ensure we have a good breakfast to set us up for the day. I worked with a personal trainer for a while (honest) who convincingly argued that carbohydrates should be avoided in the evenings to prevent weight gain. I could see her logic - she asserted that if we eat carbs while we are active (awake) they get converted into sugar and used up straight away. If we eat them then go to sleep, they get turned into glycogen and triglycerides - i.e. fat, which we have to work harder to break down the next day. 

Personally, I've always thought that it's the total amount you eat versus the amount of energy you expend that counts, regardless of timing or content. But even in the intermittent fasting world there are many different approaches - people who eat nothing for 16 hours and then all their calories in the following 8 hours; people who fast every other day, or 3 out of 7 days; people who eat all their fast day calories in one go and those who spread them throughout the day. Michael Mosley eats his as 2 meals - breakfast and dinner. However, as with so many aspects of this strategy, he doesn't insist that his way is the best way for everyone else. 

In a recent interview for the Sydney Morning Herald (bless the internet), Mosley addressed some of these questions, including the old favourite, the breakfast issue:

"Everyone needs to eat breakfast"

Not true, Mosley says.

He mentions studies where some people, when they are forced to eat breakfast, actually put on weight. "It depends on what your body likes to do," he says.

Which is why Mosley ultimately believes in becoming your own guinea pig. Depending on our own physical make-up and routine, we reap benefits differently. It's a matter of absorbing the information and trying it on for size.

http://www.smh.com.au/lifestyle/diet-and-fitness/michael-mosleys-five-biggest-health-myths-20130920-2u3vb.html

In the spirit of self-experimentation, I looked back over my recent blogs to see if there were any patterns emerging. I noticed that fast days at home tend to be much easier than those in the office. I had put this down to the fact that I am more active on office days, so expend more energy. As a result I tend to eat more earlier in the day on office days, leaving me struggling in the evening. Conversely on a work at home day, I don't eat anything until lunchtime. But then I thought, maybe it's the different eating pattern that makes the difference in how I feel, rather than the change in energy output?

Yesterday, Day 20, I decided to try not eating in the morning on an office day. (My Wednesday work event was cancelled so I could fast as normal, yay!) I really wasn't sure how it would go, as I had to be in early and alert for a workshop, and walk a mile or so around London between meetings in the morning. As it turned out, apart from a wobbly moment when I was assaulted by the sight of a tray of bacon sandwiches at the workshop, it went really well. It was probably the easiest office fast day I've had so far. I felt great all day, not at all hungry even into the evening and at bedtime. Today, the day after, I still feel great and have bags of energy.

So there we have it. Apparently I am not a breakfast person - not on fast days anyway. There was, in fact, a bacon sandwich in my life this morning. I will repeat this experiment over the coming weeks and see if the success repeats.

I've now completed 10 weeks and am due to weigh and measure on Sunday. I have a feeling that the rate of loss has slowed down considerably and am no longer confident of averaging at a rate of a pound off per week. If this is true, I will try to contain my disappointment and keep soldiering on. 

A colleague at work today told me that another colleague had asked her if I had lost weight as I was looking really good. Yay me! As long as I'm heading in the right direction, every week is a success, even if it takes me longer than I was hoping.

Day Nineteen: waking up

There are a few moments as I wake up on a fast day when I forget that it's a fast day. My dozy brain wanders to thoughts of breakfast, and then I remember. I get a brief pang of "oh bugger" and then I think about coffee and everything is okay again. And breakfast tomorrow will be twice as tasty.

Not about fasting

This is completely off topic but hey, it's my blog so I can write whatever I like.

I work for a very large global company. As with most companies of this size, we work hard to promote diversity and inclusion. I am a member of the LGBT network, and last Thursday went to an event they had organised to promote the importance of straight allies in the workplace. It was fantastic to have some very senior members of staff from both my company and other FTSE100s talking about the work being done to include and encourage LGBT staff to be able to be themselves at work, along with representatives from Stonewall in attendance.

One theme that kept re-appearing throughout the evening was one of the reasons why straight people were standing up for their LGBT colleagues. It came down to respect - to treating people the way you would want to be treated. This is not an LGBT issue, or a gender issue, or a diversity issue. It's simply a human issue.

The word "nice" has been much maligned over time. I remember over 20 years ago being told never to use it by my English teacher. I think the time may have come to reclaim it. I think we can sum up all our aspirations about how to behave with our fellow humans by saying - "Be nice."

Nice is kindness, and calmness, thoughtfulness and tolerance. Nice is being considerate, helpful, even that old-fashioned value, being polite. Nice is about respecting other people, about not jumping to conclusions, about not assuming you know everything about everyone else's situation and motivation. Nice is not judging, not being mean, not taking advantage.

I fail constantly in my efforts to be nice, but events like last Thursday remind me how important it is to keep trying. And when someone is nice to me, to really appreciate it.

Caitlin Moran recently published a letter to her daughter in The Times, with advice from beyond the grave. As always with Moran, it is full of humour and and neat observations. The first item on her list stuck with me:

“The main thing is just to try to be nice. Keep slowly turning it up, like a dimmer switch, whenever you can. Just resolve to shine, constantly and steadily, like a warm lamp in the corner, and people will want to move towards you in order to feel happy, and to read things more clearly. You will be bright and constant in a world of dark and flux."

Excellent advice.


_________________________________________________________

You can read the whole letter here:
http://fuckyeahcaitlinmoran.tumblr.com/post/56512417071/a-letter-from-caitlin-moran-to-her-daughter-from-beyond

Day Eighteen: mindfulness and distraction

Overall, fast days are getting easier and easier to manage, as I learn how to deal with the effects on my body and mind. I suspect there will always be odd ones like last week that are a real struggle, but generally it's not a big issue. I no longer get the nausea and wooziness, just a hollow and occasionally embarrassingly loud stomach.

That is not to say I don't get hungry. I do, and I have two ways to manage it. The first and easiest is distraction. It's no surprise that when I am busy I have less capacity to think about the hunger, plus the time goes faster. This week I fasted on Wednesday rather than Thursday, as I have a work event this evening which would be no fun at all to fast through. I was slightly apprehensive as it was a full work day with a lot of meetings that I would need to contribute to. As it turned out, this was the best possible way to spend the time, as I ran around like a loon getting it all done and having to concentrate hard not to look like an idiot.

However the meetings were all over by 3 o'clock and I had to last out until at least 7 with no food. Distraction was no longer an option - I didn't stop working, I was just sat at my desk rather than running around. I therefore had to turn to the second technique, which oddly is the complete opposite of the first.

The concept of mindfulness has been around for a very long time. It is a central tenet of Buddhism, but crops up in many other cultures. There are a lot of different ways to describe it, but I think of it as being detached, almost observing myself as an outsider. This article explains the non-judgmental nature of this inner voice:

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/tom-wootton/mindfulness-happiness_b_4019398.html

My life can be so busy that a lot of my actions are on auto-pilot. Mindfulness is a conscious switching off of the reflex reactions and thoughts; it is "paying attention to the present moment without judgement". I did a course on meditation once and learned that it isn't really about emptying your mind, but simply noticing when your mind wanders and gently bringing it back to a point of focus.

Applying mindfulness to hunger works for me by noticing when my mind is wandering in the direction of food, discomfort, self-pity, resentment, cake etc., and detaching my thoughts from the hunger. I can then consider it unemotionally - yes, I am hungry. Yes, I am physically uncomfortable. But, it is no longer relevant. It is just something that is happening in that moment and I can accept it without letting it intrude on my feelings.

This generally works for about 2 minutes before I realise I'm visualising chocolate again and have to start over...

Next week I have a new challenge - I have work events on both Wednesday and Thursday, so will either have to fast two consecutive days on Monday and Tuesday, or on Friday which is my precious day off. I will see how Monday goes first.