Day Seventeen: soup and lurkers

I'm a big soup fan. I like pretty much any kind of soup - let's not mention the miso aberration here - but my favourite is really thick, smooth, creamy soup that your spoon pretty much stands up by itself in. With the unfamiliar hot weather we had this summer, I didn't eat as much soup as usual, and enjoyed crunchy salads and lots of raw veggies instead. Now that it's turning colder again, soup is back on the menu.

I spent a while the other week reading the nutritional information on the back of every tub of fresh soup in Sainsburys. Yes, I am that person. I don't mind tinned soup but the fresh stuff is so much more appealing. A standard fresh pot contains 600g of soup - about 2 mugfuls. On a fast day 300g is enough for lunch, but it would be nice to eat a whole pot if I'm struggling with hunger, so ideally I was looking for under 100kCal per 300g.

Some you expect to be quite high - the protein in meat and lentils tends to bump up the calories. For example, Tomato, Lentil & Potato: 176kcal/300g; Covent Garden Best Chicken: 264kCal/300g. But even soups with just vegetables can be on the high side - Covent Garden Tomato & Basil: 126kCal/300g; Sainsburys Butternut Squash: 126kCal/300g. There are some that get close - the delicious Spicy Pumpkin Soup I had the other day was on 105kCal/300g.

However, as usual, the answer appears to be - make your own. Or, in my case, ask Dream to make me some. (Spoiled, much?) Last week she cooked up a batch with butternut squash, onion, carrot, sweet potato, garlic and a chicken stock cube that worked out around 50kCal/300g. The veggies don't need frying or any fat added at all, just boil them up in the stock and blend. If you don't mind a thinner soup, you could get even lower portion values by simply adding more water to your stock cube. 

Personally, I'm sticking with the almost solid version. When it's sitting on the hob on a low heat, the pockets of super-heated extra-thick liquid bubble up and pop with a satisfying squelch, like mud pools. But, y'know, tastier...

Today I'm eating a more indulgent version that is mainly carrot and sweet potato, at 113kCal/300g. Choosing the ingredients carefully means you can pretty much decide what calorie total you want, and of course it freezes beautifully. Between the mug of soup and a punnet of cherry tomatoes at lunchtime I didn't need anything else until dinner, so had enough calories to make my omelette* with whole eggs instead of just egg white and add a rasher of bacon. Bacon! On a fast day! Maybe I could get away with adding bacon to the soup...

* * * * * * 

A few people have told me this week that they have been reading my blog and said very nice things about it - thank-you. But don't be shy! If you don't leave a comment I don't know you are there, and knowing you are there really does make my day. Just a smiley face or a 'like' on Facebook gives me a lift - it might be all the difference it takes to turn a really tough fast day into a super-breezy easy one. A big hello to my new follower, thank-you for your support! And the rest of you lurkers, go on, de-lurk yourselves!




* technically not omelette, sort of scrambled egg with a ton of chopped veg**, but omelette sounds classier.
** I know bacon is not a vegetable. I don't care.

Day Sixteen: slow fast day

It's nearly 4 o'clock, at least another hour in the office, and I've already eaten all but 100kCal of my fast day allowance. The hunger has been very distracting today, mainly because I'm mostly on my own and not terribly busy. I have been trying all my usual tricks - black coffee, zero cal soft drinks, smoking (don't judge me) - I have even resorted to catching up on my filing. A dear friend who has also just started 5:2ing helpfully suggested I chew some chocolate and then spit it out. Thanks for that! 

I wish I knew why some days it seems like a breeze and other days it's such hard work. I have read back over some of my blog posts to remind myself of what I have achieved so far, and why I'm doing all of this, which helps me grit my teeth and refuse to give in. I thought it would be interesting to write a list of additional benefits that I have noticed along the way.

• The IBS symptoms that plagued me for over a year have not returned. I know this may be associated with the test I had at the same time I started 5:2, but I'm counting it as a win.
• It's already easier to bend to pick things up off the floor, or to get up and down from sitting on the floor. I often have to sit on the floor of the train on my commute when there are no seats available, so this is most welcome.
• My skin feels smoother and looks clearer. I'm not much troubled by spots but do get tiny little milia (milk spots) on my face; there seem to be a lot less of these.
• I'm told I'm snoring less - I can't verify this myself but I'll take their word for it!
• I feel confident enough to go to work wearing short(ish) dresses, where before now I always wore trousers. I am enjoying the occasional compliments I receive on my new clothes. I'm also able to wear heeled shoes during the working day, which I found very uncomfortable before.

If I could choose one non-weight related issue to resolve right now it would be insomnia. I have been sleeping so badly this week I'm exhausted, which I'm sure doesn't help with the hunger management. I know the answer to this is to get on my bike, which I've been very slack about this week.

In the meantime I am resolutely ignoring the weird growling sounds coming from my stomach and hoping the rest of the day goes a bit faster.

Day Fifteen: creep

No, not the dirty old man who leers at you on the bus, or the movie, or the song. In science, "creep" is the gradual deformation or transformation of something over a long period of time. For people like me who have struggled with gaining weight, it feels like an appropriate description of how we end up as we are. You don't notice one or two pounds creeping on, until it's happened so much that your clothes don't fit any more.

I have thought of my weight as being pretty stable over the last few years - too much, granted, but not getting any heavier. However when I was looking at the health report from April to get my cholesterol results, I saw that it also had some previous data in it from when I last had a health check, which I had pretty much forgotten about. According to the report, my last health check was in June 2010, so just under 3 years previously. My weight at that time was 96kg (15 stone 3lbs). That means I gained 13kg (25lbs) over the last 3 years. I knew that around that time I upsized my work trousers from 18 to 20 but it's still quite a shock to see the numbers in black and white. Effectively my 10% goal is to get back to where I was then. I'm hoping it won't take 3 years...

When I weighed myself last week I also had my boyfriend take photos to compare with the ones I posted on here at the start of August. We looked very closely, but other than a marginal change in shape, there was no noticeable size difference. I know from taking my measurements that there is a difference, it's just not particularly visible at this stage. I was disappointed, but reminded myself that this is a long, slow journey. I am aiming to reverse the creep, getting rid of a pound or two gradually but permanently.

Last Friday I went to Starbucks after dropping the kids at school. It's a weekly treat usually involving a cheese and mushroom croissant for my breakfast. Sometimes it's my second breakfast, if I eat first with the kids before school. When my eating was most out of control, between my first and second kids, I was in there every day, and the thought of having a coffee without a sweet snack - like a huge muffin or cookie - was unthinkable. The coffee was merely an excuse for the cake. But on Friday, the day after a fast day, I had eaten a slice of toast with the kids, and when I got to Starbucks, I just didn't want to eat anything else. I looked carefully at the choice of croissants and cakes, thought really carefully about what they would taste like and how I would feel eating them, and ordered my black coffee on its own. 

This in itself is a massive step for me. I didn't feel like I was denying myself, or "being good", I just genuinely didn't want it. It is changes like this in my attitude and behavior that will improve my health and see my weight creep in the right direction, however slowly, so I can float like a feather in a beautiful world.

Day Fourteen: the Dirk Gently homage

I survived the cycling experiment yesterday. I was so hungry all day, I don't think I stopped eating. I started out relatively healthily with fruit and tomatoes, but after lunch as my options at work grew more limited it degenerated to Jaffa Cakes and Krispy Kreme doughnuts. I haven't had a day like that for so long it was rather a shock. 

Due to the fundamental interconnectedness of all things, it is not possible to determine a single cause for this aberration. It could have been my body reacting in horror to the unaccustomed exercise, it could have been a random hormonal surge, it could have been a solar flare. Who knows. If it was related to the cycling it would be rather a cause for concern as I was planning on cycling on fast days too.

As it happened, due to unforeseen circumstances totally outside my control, I had to cycle home from the station as well last night, which was not part of the plan. Given the vast sugar reserve I had consumed in the afternoon, this actually wasn't too bad, but all I was capable of on getting home was stuffing some pizza in my face and going to bed.

And then - I slept really well! I know I shouldn't be surprised that physical activity produces better quality sleep, but I'm so used to sleeping badly I never expect a decent night until it happens. Even my youngest requiring cuddles and being carried back to bed at 3a.m. didn't spoil it.

This morning I gingerly got back on my bike, much to the suffering of my poor bottom, even with a gel cover on the saddle, and cruised the two and a bit miles to the station. (The extra bit makes a difference. Really.) OK, so not exactly cruised, but made it in one piece. I have been somewhat hyper all day (can you tell?), feeling really great, enjoying every meagre mouthful of fast day food, and generally annoying the hell out of my colleagues by being disgustingly cheerful. Possibly I am still on a sugar high from yesterday. The cycling/fasting combination doesn't seem to be a problem so far. If I have to cycle home again, however, all bets are off.

If I had been on pretty much any other weight loss / health plan, yesterday would have been a cause of great guilt and hair-pulling, as I calculated how much damage I had done and punished myself for being imperfect. As it is, I can just say - hey, no problem, today is a fast day and I'm nailing it. I wouldn't recommend a diet of Krispy Kreme every non-fast day, but once every now and then will make no difference whatsoever to my long term success.

I don't believe in Peter Pan, Frankenstein or Superman

A couple of weeks ago I went to the sales and bought my kids pushbikes. They have had bikes at their dad's place but none here with me. A bit late for the summer sun, but at least I got there in the end. My boyfriend got one too, and has been cycling to work a couple of times a week, a journey of over 6 miles each way. This weekend Dream joined the tribe and bought one. I've had one for a few years but haven't used it recently because of the problems with my hip, and general laziness.

We trundled out for a short while on Saturday. My kids aren't very confident, through lack of practice, and Dream hasn't ridden a bike for about 15 years, so we just pottered about the local streets, getting used to the new bikes. I found it surprisingly easy to pedal around the block a few times, and much to my delight, my hip didn't bother me at all, either during riding or afterwards. 

I decided to be brave and cycle to the station this morning. It's just over 2 miles so not exactly taxing - I walked it a few times at the start of the summer before my hip gave up completely, so cycling seems much easier than that, not to mention a lot quicker! I managed it in 17 minutes and so far my hip is staying calm.

The plan is to do this a couple of mornings this week, getting a lift home with the bike on the rack in the evenings. If that all goes fine, next week I will try cycling both ways. I know from painful experience that doing too much too soon just ends up with me not being able to do anything at all, so I'm trying to take it slowly. I'm slightly concerned about cycling at the start of a fast day tomorrow, but I will pack plenty of fruit and veg to eat on the train and see how it goes.

Cholesterol conundrum

Yesterday was the easiest fast day yet. It certainly helps when I'm at home and have a relatively sedentary day. I didn't feel the need to eat anything til lunchtime, and had a bowl of delicious spicy pumpkin soup (Sainsbury's Limited Edition, 220kCal per huge pot). I was slightly peckish in the late afternoon when feeding the kids, so had some grapes and stole some broccoli from their tea. Dinner was another WeightWatchers frozen steam ready meal - Chop Suey this time. Yes it's cheating but it's so tasty and easy! I didn't feel uncomfortable or queasy all day and actually slept much better than usual. If they continue to improve like this, fast days will be a doddle soon.

I had my free and quick cholesterol test at Sainsbury's yesterday. My total cholesterol count has gone down from 5.6 mmol/L (measured in April) to 5.3. This is good news, as the suggested healthy level is below 5, so I'm heading in the right direction.

But.

My "good" cholesterol has also gone down, from 1.2 to 1.1, making my TC/HDL ratio rise from 4.7 to 5 - where the target is keeping it under 5. So, not such good news.

I'm not going to stress too much about this right now as I need to keep focused on sticking with the strategy and doing things to enhance my chances of success - the possibility of exercise looms! But I will go back in February when they run the program again and see how things look then.

Day Thirteen: happy to be obese!

Being happy to be classified as obese is probably not a normal reaction, but when coming at it from the higher end it does make sense, really!

My GP has good old-fashioned analogue scales, so taking a reading involves squinting at the pointer and the lines and giving it your best shot. This morning we agreed between us that the number was 104kg, showing a 4kg (8lb) loss since the last weigh-in 6 weeks ago. I'm pretty damn happy with this, as it passes my first goal of getting my BMI under 40 - hence merely obese rather than morbidly so. It represents just over a pound off per week, and when you say it as "over half a stone" it sounds even better! It may not be falling-over-in-shock spectacular but it is quite enough to give me hope! I'm giving myself a gold star for effort :)

As I am not going to be returning to my GP for weigh-ins, I stepped on my fancy new scales this morning too. As expected, it gives a different number - 105.1kg. I'm assuming this means my starting weight was a bit higher than the 108 on the GP's scales - probably nearer 109kg - so I am resetting my baseline. Luckily it still puts my BMI at 39.8 so I'm sticking with that!

So where does this leave me with my goals? No.1 is done and dusted, as I'm under the magic 40. No.2 involves getting to 97kg, so another 8 to go. If I keep the same rate of loss as I have done so far, it should take me another 12 weeks or so. I will be weighing every 4 weeks from now on, so watch this space. It would make a very excellent Christmas present.

I have set one other goal, which is size rather than weight related. About 3 years ago I gave up on the size 18 work trousers that I was wearing and reluctantly upsized to a 20. I kept those size 18s and this weekend dragged the box out of the attic and retrieved them. They are not particularly beautiful but my new goal is to get back into them. I reckon I need to lose another 2-4 inches off my waist and hips, so when my size 20s start feeling dangerously baggy I will try them on. I also found in the box some size 16s which I had forgotten all about. I will get back into those one day too.

On with the day - cholesterol tests at lunchtime!

The scores on the doors

The tape measure finally came out this morning, before breakfast. Dream went first and has dropped 4lbs (2kg) - so a rate of about a pound per fast week. This is a great result, steady and sustainable. She has also shed inches from her waist and hips, so a wonderful start.

I didn't weigh myself this morning, but the results of my measurements are:

(inches)	6/8/2013	15/9/2013
Waist	47	43
Under bust	42	39
Full bust	46	44.5
Hips	54	52
R thigh	30	28
R arm	14.5	13.5

I'm really very happy with this. The biggest result is 4 inches off my waist, and for health reasons this is the area I most want to reduce so I am delighted. I know I have a long way to go but I'm headed in the right direction :)

Sneak preview

Two days to go, and I'm now at the point I just want to get on the scales and have done with it. Then I can get on with setting some new goals based on how I think I might realistically progress.

Dream will be weighing and measuring tomorrow as she will be at work on Monday. I've decided to do my measurements with her and going forward weigh every 4th Sunday so we can do it together. This time round however I won't jump on the scales, but will leave that to my doc on Monday. Having such a close friend powering along by my side makes a huge difference to me, so I want to share our successes.

It is not, of course, a competition. Dream is considerably lighter than me to begin with, not to mention taller and younger, plus she has a physically demanding job as a nanny to three children under the age of 3. I can already see the difference in her shape, despite her having to miss a week of fasting due to work commitments. She has plunged straight back in after her week off and I'm immensely proud of her.

Dream is somewhat obsessed with the wearing of correct fitting bras. (Don't ask me, I blame mumsnet.) She has always been on at me, even before we started all this malarkey, to properly measure and buy some decent bras dammit! Now that I appear to be not filling my cups quite as much as before, she has become even more naggy. (Why does the weight have to come off the boobs? Its so unfair!)

This morning, with a possible shopping trip on the cards, she insisted on measuring me in case any bra buying opportunities arose. There is really no point protesting when she is brandishing a tape measure so I let her get on with it. It was only some time later that I realised I couldn't remember what my starting measurement was 6 weeks ago. So I had to look it up on the blog.

Drum roll please...

My starting measurement for under my bust was 42in. Today, Dream measured it at 39in. That's a reduction of 3 whole inches.

Let me repeat that: 3 inches in 6 weeks.

I had to have a little sit down.

I have no idea if that's great or average or terrible compared with anybody else, and I really don't care, I just know for me it's somewhat miraculous. I will post the rest of my measurements tomorrow and am looking forward to my doctors appointment even more now.

Body fat measurements

The six weeks has come round so quickly. I remember thinking back at the start that it seemed like a huge amount of time but now it's almost here - W day is just 3 days away. I'm feeling very positive, and whatever the number on the scales, I know I have made good progress. I will also get my cholesterol tests done and will be interested to see if there is any difference.

As I don't want to go back to my GP every time I want to get weighed, I will be weighing myself on my own scales on Tuesday morning to get a new baseline. Then using the same scales at the same day/time every 4 weeks will be my routine. The scales that I bought also measure body fat so I am going to be monitoring that too going forward.

I am aware that body fat measurements aren't terribly accurate, so I wanted to find out a bit more about them. This article is really great:

http://www.sport-fitness-advisor.com/bodyfatscales.html

Body fat scales use a technique called Bioelectrical Impedance Analysis... or BIA for short. Very simply...

A small and completely harmless electrical current is passed through your body. The electrical current passes more quicklythrough fat free tissue like muscle than it does through fat or bone tissue. So...

The amount of resistance to the electrical current relates to how much fat-free mass a person has and their body density. Here's the first challenge...

Like all body fat tests, body fat scales don't actually measure your body fat percentage. They determine your body density. The scales then use a formula to calculate body fat percentage based on body density. Here's the key...

These formulas just predict your body fat. Unfortunately there is no one formula that accurately predicts body fat for the whole population. Differences in age, gender, ethnicity, body size, and fitness level all have a significant affect on the results.

Most scales can account for some of the basic differences such as age and gender, but take the actual body fat percentage they give you with a pinch of salt. What does this all mean for you?

Well, whether body fat scales measure your "true" body fat percentage or not doesn't matter! As long as they can accuratelymonitor changes in your body composition over time, that's all you need.

Your body position, the amount of water in your body, your food intake, skin temperature and recent physical activity can all adversely affect the results of body fat scales. So...

To achieve accurate, consistent results, you must standardise the way you perform each test. That simply means making each test with your scales as similar as possible. 

So, I will be doing my best to be consistent in how I do the measurement. The last time I had my body fat measured was at the same time as the cholesterol tests back in April. While I know that a straight comparison between that result and whatever my scales say will not be terribly meaningful, due to the factors described above, it is impossible to resist the temptation... the previous measurement was 47% so lots of room for improvement!

In the meantime, planning on enjoying a very delicious weekend.

Day Twelve: nailed it!

Today was really hard. I struggled to concentrate at work and just felt generally grumpy all day. But then I got home and ate my well deserved 170kCal dinner and actually felt fantastic. I got a massive burst of energy and have been scurrying around doing chores and tidying up and generally feeling very content. I'm comparing this with yesterday evening when I felt lethargic and sleepy with no inclination to do anything other than go to bed, following the enormous work lunch earlier in the day.

So what I have learned?

1. Even really rubbish fast days can be survived. Next time I am having a difficult day I can look back on this one and remember that it all turned out fine in the end.

2. Eating a huge lunch and a very small dinner the day before a fast day is not great planning. It's not something I will always have control over but at least I can recognise it and be prepared for the consequences.

3. Eating a huge lunch may not be a great idea at the best of times. Hmm, I'll reserve judgement on that one...

Day Twelve: hunger

Today is going very, very slowly. I haven't slept well the last two nights - not sure why, possibly coming down with a virus - so I am tired and cranky. I am also hungry. I woke up hungry and am still hungry after my planned breakfast. I can hear and feel my tummy complaining. I have a headache. My hip hurts. There is currently not enough coffee in the world. Moan, moan, whinge, grumble.

A large part of success with this strategy comes down to how you cope with the hunger. Whatever anyone says, you do get hungry - you get used to it but it's always there. On good fast days, I actually enjoy the hunger. I love the empty hollow feeling, knowing that my body is going into overdrive to burn fat and repair damaged cells. For large parts of the day I don't notice it at all. Plus: smugness overload. But on a harder fast day - which I suspect today is going to be - it can be very distracting and uncomfortable. For me though, it all comes down to my mental state.

A couple of friends have attempted to join me on the basis of my experience and recommendation, and both have given up after just one fast day. Some things work for some people, some don't. Both of them found it really hard to cope with the hunger, and more specifically, the anxiety about future hunger, leading to either binge eating the day before a planned fast day, or a night sleepless with worry. (Hi ladies, I love you both!)

So how can I help myself keep going? This morning I have been very tempted to wallow in a bit of self-pity. The journey I have started seems endless. I calculated that if I lose a pound a week (possibly somewhat optimistic) it will take me around 6 months to reach my 10% goal. And I will still be seriously overweight. Coming up to my weigh-in next Monday and the doubts creep back in. Yes, I know I'm wearing clothes to work today that were uncomfortably tight 6 weeks ago. But also, I stuffed my face with dim sum at a work lunch yesterday - that can't possibly be good, right?

Luckily for me, I appear to have a very stubborn streak. I know I can live through the hunger because I've done it 11 times already and it hasn't killed me. I know I can eat something delicious tomorrow and reward myself with a glass of wine, or three. I know that I'm in it for the long haul, however fast or slow it goes, because the alternative is to live with pain and disease. I know that I'd rather do this than deny myself the pleasures of a wide range of food on a daily basis. I know that because I've gone and publicly declared this whole shenanigans over the internet, I'd be lynched if I stopped now!

People have to do whatever works for them. This is the first thing I've found that I actually believe will work for me and that I can stick with. That doesn't mean it's right for everybody else, just that it's right for me. So I will attempt to rein in my proselytising and focus instead on doing the best job I can for myself, and fending off the doubts that attempt to bring me down. 

In the meantime, to cheer me up, here is a picture of my latest foodie discovery, Wensleydale with mango and ginger. I shall be scarfing some down tomorrow evening. Enjoy.

It's a beautiful day...

... and I can't stop myself from smiling...

Actually it's grey and miserable out but I'm smiling anyway. So far today I have eaten three crunchy carrots, two crispy crackers and a cup of golden vegetable soup. I'm feeling energised and happy.

I finally got around to watching Michael Mosley's original Horizon programme "Eat, Fast and Live Longer" here:

http://www.disclose.tv/action/viewvideo/110651/BBC_Horizon_2012_Eat_Fast_and_Live_Longer/

(Many thanks to @wiltdnrUSA at thefastdiet.co.uk forums for providing the link.)

It reminded me of all the amazing physiological effects that arise from fasting, for example the brain reacting by producing new neurons. I'm going to be healthy AND clever! The program also revealed that Michael lost around a stone in weight in his first 5 weeks on the diet. While I can't believe I will have results anything like that, I am optimistic about my progress and confident I can keep going as long as I need to.

Happy Monday folks!

Day Eleven - one week to W Day and cholesterol tests

This time next week I will return to my GP to get weighed. There is still part of me that wonders if I'm imagining all the physical changes in a warped version of wishful thinking. It will soon be time to find out!

As a large part of my motivation is to improve my general health, I have been looking for other measures that could help me assess my progress. I found out that my local Sainsbury's is offering free cholesterol testing at the moment, so I have booked myself an appointment for a week today too. I had a full health assessment on 25 April which included cholesterol tests, but other than the fact that my results were outside the recommended range, I didn't really know much about what cholesterol is or why it is important. So of course, I referred to Dr. Google to find out and this is what I learned.

http://www.patient.co.uk/health/cholesterol
http://www.nhs.uk/conditions/Cholesterol/Pages/Introduction.aspx

Cholesterol is a fatty substance known as a lipid and is vital for the normal functioning of the body.Cholesterol is carried in your blood by proteins, and when the two combine they are called lipoproteins. There are harmful and protective lipoproteins known as LDL and HDL, or bad and good cholesterol.

Low-density lipoprotein (LDL): LDL carries cholesterol from your liver to the cells that need it. If there is too much cholesterol for the cells to use, it can build up in the artery walls, leading to disease of the arteries. For this reason, LDL cholesterol is known as "bad cholesterol".

High-density lipoprotein (HDL): HDL carries cholesterol away from the cells and back to the liver, where it is either broken down or passed out of the body as a waste product. For this reason, it is referred to as "good cholesterol" and higher levels are better.

The following levels are generally regarded as desirable:

• Total cholesterol (TC) - 5.0 mmol/L or less. However, about 2 in 3 adults in the UK have a TC level of 5.0 mmol/L or above. Mine was 5.6.
• Low-density lipoprotein (LDL) cholesterol after an overnight fast: 3.0 mmol/L or less. Mine was 3.8.
• High-density lipoprotein (HDL) cholesterol: 1.2 mmol/L or more. Mine was 1.2.
• TC/HDL ratio: 4.5 or less. That is, your total cholesterol divided by your HDL cholesterol. This reflects the fact that for any given TC level, the more HDL, the better. Mine was 4.7.

As a rule, the higher the LDL cholesterol level, the greater the risk to health. So I'm not in big trouble yet but not in a great place either and really need to get it under control. I'm looking forward to seeing some evidence of the health benefits of fasting. 

Any other ideas for measuring progress?

Sugar and sweetener

"Confirmation bias" is a tendency of people to favour information that confirms their beliefs or hypotheses. People display this bias when they gather or remember information selectively, or when they interpret it in a biased way. I am probably guilty of this when it comes to my research on the harmful effects of sugar. I read with interest some further confirmatory stories this week, including this one linking sugar with the effect of cholesterol's ability to cause heart disease. 
http://myscienceacademy.org/2012/08/19/world-renown-heart-surgeon-speaks-out-on-what-really-causes-heart-disease/

"Without inflammation being present in the body, there is no way that cholesterol would accumulate in the wall of the blood vessel and cause heart disease and strokes. Without inflammation, cholesterol would move freely throughout the body as nature intended. It is inflammation that causes cholesterol to become trapped. The biggest culprits of chronic inflammation are the overload of simple, highly processed carbohydrates (sugar, flour and all the products made from them) and the excess consumption of omega-6 vegetable oils like soybean, corn and sunflower that are found in many processed foods."

While acknowledging my confirmation bias, I still find this compelling.

The new villain getting a lot of bad press is fruit juice due to the sugar content:

http://www.theguardian.com/society/2013/sep/07/smoothies-fruit-juices-new-health-risk

But I got to thinking, one of the ways that I, and many others, reduce sugar intake is by switching to artificial sweeteners. I put them in my coffee and I drink low-calorie soft drinks. So I thought I should balance the equation a little by looking at some of the effects of sweetener on the body.

There are many types of sweetener available. The most common ones are saccharin, aspartame and sucralose. Critics of artificial sweeteners say that they cause a variety of health problems, ranging from cancer to depression to headaches.

Studies dating to the 1970s linked saccharin to bladder cancer in laboratory rats. Because of those studies, saccharin once carried a warning label that it may be hazardous to your health. But according to the National Cancer Institute and other health agencies, there's no sound scientific evidence that any of the artificial sweeteners approved for use in the U.S. cause cancer or other serious health problems. And numerous research studies confirm that artificial sweeteners are generally safe in limited quantities, even for pregnant women. As a result of the newer studies, the warning label for saccharin was dropped.

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/artificial-sweeteners/MY00073

But the debate rages on, mainly because no long-term studies on humans have been conducted, and many of those short-term studies that have been conducted have been funded by the sweetener industry. The biggest villain appears to be aspartame, which has been shown to trigger headaches and depression in those susceptible.

http://www.onhealth.com/artificial_sweeteners/page8.htm#aspartamecon

We probably don't know the reality from the hype, and I will hopefully view popular research with at least a pinch of scepticism. From a personal perspective, I will continue to cut out sugar wherever possible, preferably without replacing it with an artificial sweetener if I can. But I won't worry too much about getting cancer from aspartame, I think the risk of me getting cancer from being massively overweight is much higher, not to mention the cigarette habit!

Blogging from my phone

Ooh look at me, all technologically mobile.

Very quick update. Another, slightly smaller pair of jeans bites the dust as they can be pulled off without undoing them.

And I still don't have a belt.

Day Ten: the wobble factor

Oh look, double figures! It is actually 5 weeks today since I did the medical fast that started this all off. Go me!

I have noticed over the last few weeks that my wobbly bits have been getting, well, wobblier. (I hope you appreciate the use of technical terms here.) It's difficult to describe and I don't want to give people mental images that require brain bleach, but the fat bits seem definitely softer, with more give. Dream has assured me that this is a good sign and means the fat cells are giving up their vice-like grip on the fat, but the geek in me requires scientific explanation.

The first step was to work out what search terms to enter into the fount of all knowledge, Dr.Google. "Why are my wobbly bits wobblier?" wasn't hugely successful. Further searches turned up lots of articles about what to do with excess loose skin after weight loss - yeurch... something to look forward to...

I haven't found any information that satisfies my need for properly conducted research, but the consensus appears to be that something like this is happening:

When your body runs out of sugar (in the bloodstream from carbohydrates that you are eating) and glycogen (sugar stored in the liver is the next source in line) your body turns to the fat cells for energy (hurrah). The stuff in the fat cells is triglyceride which is formed of glycerol and fatty acids. When the fat cells get the signal to give it up, the triglycerides break into their component parts and enter the bloodstream, where they are cleverly converted to energy and the liver restocks with glycogen.

So now you have fat cells with less triglyceride in them, but they are essentially still the same size - it takes longer for the cell to physically shrink to the appropriate new size. This makes sense as if the sugar deficit is short-lived, as the fat cell is ready to fill up again when the next doughnut appears. If fat usage is going on at a steady rate (we hope) the cell is constantly trying to catch up with the new lower required size. 

What appears to happen (and this is where the evidence gets a bit hand-wavy) is that the fat cell temporarily fills up with water. If no new fat is made to replace what was lost, eventually it releases the water and shrinks. So the wobbliness is due to a higher water content in the fat cells, and will hopefully be followed by shrinkage.

All of which goes to prove that Dream was right and I should just listen to her and accept her wisdom ;)

References
I'm sure that my explanation above is a highly simplified version of reality, if anyone out there knows better please tell me! The are the two main articles I shamelessly plundered are:
http://science.howstuffworks.com/life/human-biology/lost-weight1.htm
http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/fat-loss/of-whooshes-and-squishy-fat.html

Goals

I was talking to my boyfriend about goals the other night - not the football kind, thankfully. Looking back at Day One, I stated my goal as "is to live a life with less pain, less illness, more health, more energy, more happiness."  This is still my overall aim, but it is quite amorphous. How much weight do I have to lose to get to this place? How will I know when I get there? 

This has been brought into focus this week as I somehow managed to pull a muscle in my calf. While the injury is not weight-related (I think), I'm sure my recovery has been slowed by my weight, and the hobbling around has aggravated another previous injury in my hip. It has been extremely frustrating.

My boyfriend asked me if I have a goal weight. Not an unreasonable question. My immediate answer was - "no". There are two reasons for this. Firstly, I find that setting a goal like that makes the journey seem impossible. If I really wanted to set a goal to be in my "ideal weight range" according the the doctors, it involves losing such a huge amount that I can't get my head around it. The second reason is that I honestly don't know what my goal would be, in terms of pounds and ounces. I can't remember being a "normal" weight, I don't know what it feels like.

I might lose a certain amount and feel fantastic and decide to stop there, even though still officially overweight. Or I might keep fasting indefinitely because its the fasting itself that makes me feel good - it is possible to fast without losing weight and many people do this just for the health benefits. Yesterday, by the way, I felt fantastic, very relaxed and content. What is important to me is that my weight doesn't adversely effect my health and mobility, and that is harder to measure.

Still, on reflection, I think it would be helpful to me to have a way of measuring my progress, so that a loss of a certain number of pounds translates into something meaningful to me. I came up with the following:

1. BMI under 40
At the 40 level, a person's obesity is labelled "morbid" i.e. significantly raising the risk of serious illnesses, in particular Type II diabetes. For me to get below 40, my weight need to drop below 105kg (16 stone 8 pounds) - a drop of 3kg (6 pounds) from my starting weight. I'm very optimistic that I can manage this!

2. Lose 10%
This is a common goal for people losing weight. It is a significant amount and has measurable health benefits, but it is small enough to be easily visualised and achieved. I'm particularly looking forward to no.7 on this list.
http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/wellness_articles.asp?id=528
For me this equates to a loss of 11kg (24 pounds) from my starting weight, to get to 97kg (15 stone 4 pounds). This would give me a BMI of around 37. This seems like a massive amount to me, but I think it's a good one to aim for. If I can get to this I will be pretty damn proud of myself.

3. Reduce waist measurement to 31.5 inches (80cm)
Risk of some health problems is affected by where body fat is stored, as well as by weight/BMI. Carrying too much fat around your middle (waist) can increase your risk of developing conditions such as, guess what, heart disease, Type II diabetes and cancer. The tipping point is thought to be around 80cm for women (94cm for men). This is a huge reduction for me to even think about, with my starting measurement of 47" (119cm). However every inch that goes will take me closer, so its a good number to have in mind. In management speak this would be labelled a "stretch" goal. Perhaps a "shrink" goal would be more appropriate?

There may be other goals or markers along the way, possibly in terms of dress size, or physical activity completed - I will keep the list updated as I go along.

Day Nine: when does it become habit?

The American Journal of Psychology defines habit in this way: "A habit, from the standpoint of psychology, is a more or less fixed way of thinking, willing, or feeling acquired through previous repetition of a mental experience." Old habits are hard to break and new habits are hard to form because the behavioural patterns we repeat are imprinted in our neural pathways, but it is possible to form new habits through repetition.

Deliberately starting any new lifestyle is a conscious attempt to make new habits. What I am finding interesting is noticing my existing habits as I start to change them. One in particular is the tendency to pick bits of food from my children's plates as I am preparing or clearing them away. On a fast day I have to police this habit rigorously, and it is so ingrained that sometimes the food is in my hand before I remember and stop myself. The fun part is that stopping myself has now started to replace the old habit. I find myself doing it on non-fast days too. I can then make a conscious decision as to whether to put the food in my mouth or not. Sometimes I still do, but it is with thought, not an automatic action. I firmly believe that it is small changes like this which support the overall goals and help the strategy to work.

Today I am fasting at home with my children (they are not fasting, obviously) and finding it a breeze. I have spoken to a few different people about the fasting strategy this week, and the common reaction from all of them has been - "Isn't that hard? Don't you feel faint? I couldn't do that." And yes sometimes it is hard, and sometimes I do feel unwell. But it is getting easier. Today I ate a yoghurt in the morning, and by the time I got to lunch the chicken salad I had planned seemed too much. I ate a plate of raw veg and a dollop of houmous - all weighed out to the last gram - and felt fine. I was a bit peckish this afternoon so ate a banana. I'm sure I cruise through to my dinnertime omelette. And honestly, however hard it is on any one day, I know I can eat tomorrow. It is becoming normal for me.

Motivation comes in different places. On Friday I was out shopping with Dream and we noticed a clothes shop I hadn't seen before. I was entranced by the clothes in the window and uncharacteristically went in to look. My usual clothes shopping experience is pretty hellish, and regular shops like this one generally don't go over a size 16, which is depressing for a 20/22 girl. I figured I could take a look at what I might be able to wear a bit further down the road.

Delightfully their range went up to a size 18 and with Dream's encouragement I tried a few things on. I ended up spending rather a lot of money... Even better, Dream slipped into a size 16 for the first time in a long while. I'm looking forward to wearing a smart new dress to work this week - although I do need to invest in some new tights first!

http://www.mistral-online.com/