Day Twelve: hunger

Today is going very, very slowly. I haven't slept well the last two nights - not sure why, possibly coming down with a virus - so I am tired and cranky. I am also hungry. I woke up hungry and am still hungry after my planned breakfast. I can hear and feel my tummy complaining. I have a headache. My hip hurts. There is currently not enough coffee in the world. Moan, moan, whinge, grumble.

A large part of success with this strategy comes down to how you cope with the hunger. Whatever anyone says, you do get hungry - you get used to it but it's always there. On good fast days, I actually enjoy the hunger. I love the empty hollow feeling, knowing that my body is going into overdrive to burn fat and repair damaged cells. For large parts of the day I don't notice it at all. Plus: smugness overload. But on a harder fast day - which I suspect today is going to be - it can be very distracting and uncomfortable. For me though, it all comes down to my mental state.

A couple of friends have attempted to join me on the basis of my experience and recommendation, and both have given up after just one fast day. Some things work for some people, some don't. Both of them found it really hard to cope with the hunger, and more specifically, the anxiety about future hunger, leading to either binge eating the day before a planned fast day, or a night sleepless with worry. (Hi ladies, I love you both!)

So how can I help myself keep going? This morning I have been very tempted to wallow in a bit of self-pity. The journey I have started seems endless. I calculated that if I lose a pound a week (possibly somewhat optimistic) it will take me around 6 months to reach my 10% goal. And I will still be seriously overweight. Coming up to my weigh-in next Monday and the doubts creep back in. Yes, I know I'm wearing clothes to work today that were uncomfortably tight 6 weeks ago. But also, I stuffed my face with dim sum at a work lunch yesterday - that can't possibly be good, right?

Luckily for me, I appear to have a very stubborn streak. I know I can live through the hunger because I've done it 11 times already and it hasn't killed me. I know I can eat something delicious tomorrow and reward myself with a glass of wine, or three. I know that I'm in it for the long haul, however fast or slow it goes, because the alternative is to live with pain and disease. I know that I'd rather do this than deny myself the pleasures of a wide range of food on a daily basis. I know that because I've gone and publicly declared this whole shenanigans over the internet, I'd be lynched if I stopped now!

People have to do whatever works for them. This is the first thing I've found that I actually believe will work for me and that I can stick with. That doesn't mean it's right for everybody else, just that it's right for me. So I will attempt to rein in my proselytising and focus instead on doing the best job I can for myself, and fending off the doubts that attempt to bring me down. 

In the meantime, to cheer me up, here is a picture of my latest foodie discovery, Wensleydale with mango and ginger. I shall be scarfing some down tomorrow evening. Enjoy.