I have thought of my weight as being pretty stable over the last few years - too much, granted, but not getting any heavier. However when I was looking at the health report from April to get my cholesterol results, I saw that it also had some previous data in it from when I last had a health check, which I had pretty much forgotten about. According to the report, my last health check was in June 2010, so just under 3 years previously. My weight at that time was 96kg (15 stone 3lbs). That means I gained 13kg (25lbs) over the last 3 years. I knew that around that time I upsized my work trousers from 18 to 20 but it's still quite a shock to see the numbers in black and white. Effectively my 10% goal is to get back to where I was then. I'm hoping it won't take 3 years...
When I weighed myself last week I also had my boyfriend take photos to compare with the ones I posted on here at the start of August. We looked very closely, but other than a marginal change in shape, there was no noticeable size difference. I know from taking my measurements that there is a difference, it's just not particularly visible at this stage. I was disappointed, but reminded myself that this is a long, slow journey. I am aiming to reverse the creep, getting rid of a pound or two gradually but permanently.
Last Friday I went to Starbucks after dropping the kids at school. It's a weekly treat usually involving a cheese and mushroom croissant for my breakfast. Sometimes it's my second breakfast, if I eat first with the kids before school. When my eating was most out of control, between my first and second kids, I was in there every day, and the thought of having a coffee without a sweet snack - like a huge muffin or cookie - was unthinkable. The coffee was merely an excuse for the cake. But on Friday, the day after a fast day, I had eaten a slice of toast with the kids, and when I got to Starbucks, I just didn't want to eat anything else. I looked carefully at the choice of croissants and cakes, thought really carefully about what they would taste like and how I would feel eating them, and ordered my black coffee on its own.
This in itself is a massive step for me. I didn't feel like I was denying myself, or "being good", I just genuinely didn't want it. It is changes like this in my attitude and behavior that will improve my health and see my weight creep in the right direction, however slowly, so I can float like a feather in a beautiful world.
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