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Tuesday, 26 November 2013

Day Thirty-two: the guest edition - support and encouragement

My lovely boyfriend has been promising me for months that he would write a guest blog post to give some insight into what it's like for him, living with me doing 5:2 - apart from having to eat on his own twice a week! Over a pint last night, he made good his promise:

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When I was in my teens I'd eat as much as I wanted of what ever I wanted and not put on weight. "Wait until you're in your 20s," I was told.

When I was in my 20s I ate all I wanted, washed it down with as much drink as I wanted and still was able to get the same size clothes as when I was 19. "Ah, but wait until you hit you 30s," I was warned.

Through my 30s I ate American sized portions was less active than in my 20s and still able to wear the t-shirts I had from the 90s. By this time in my life people stopped warning me about pending weight gain.

Through the last 20 years I have had partners that have struggled with weight problems. What I've found challenging time and time again is knowing how to support someone that's going through something I've not been through myself. In each relationship the weight loss is not something I've instigated, at least not consciously. In each case the partner I was with started on their weight loss journey due to discomfort or medical problems.

I've sat and listened to how "x" will be the system that succeeds where "y" failed. I've heard eating plans explained then six months later discredited. I've waited in the car outside diet support groups as my partner went to get weighed. I've bitten my tongue many times when hearing how each and every system hasn't worked.

Dare I say it, 5:2 is different.

Oh sure it's not all sweetness and light but it's not the constant pain that eating plans which rule out certain food groups or reduce daily intake cause. I very much like that we can still go out for a meal or enjoy a delicious Sunday lunch without any compromise or guilt.

Dear reader, just like you I love to read this blog as the ideas and revelations take us closer and closer to goal.

As I mentioned before I personally struggle with how to help someone through something that I haven't been through myself and I appreciate that many of you reading this have suffered or are suffering and I am truly grateful for the support that you give and wish you the best of strength for reaching your own goals.

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After reading this, we had a discussion about levels of support. When someone is following a more traditional diet plan, it seems important to constantly encourage and celebrate sticking with the effort and achieving (hopefully) the desired weight loss. With 5:2 it's a little different. To me, at least, this now feels like something I do, embedded in my regular lifestyle, a permanent change to how I behave. I have no plans to stop or change my fasting patterns, regardless of my weight. 

So, constant praise feels inappropriate - as the lovely bf pointed out, he doesn't congratulate me every day on going to work, or getting the kids to bed at night (although frankly I think both of those deserve medals on occasion). But, we do ask each other daily - how was work? How was your day? And we do celebrate achievements along the way - projects completed, presentations given, recognition gained - even merely the survival of a particularly difficult day. 

That is type of support for my 5:2 lifestyle that I appreciate from him and the other lovely people who I lean on - just asking, how did it go? How do you feel? And saying - well done, your efforts are noticed, for just carrying on with everything we do, every day, even when it's just business as usual.


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