Day Eight: Cucamelons!

I stayed with my darling friend Steve last night. As I might have expected, he is a fantastic supporter of me in general and my new strategy in particular. He spoiled me with the holy P trinity of pasta, pjs, and Pinot but had also taken the trouble to prepare for the start of my fast day today by providing me with an apple to take to work for breakfast, some sugar-free sweets and vast amounts of coffee with a choice of 3 different kinds of sweetener. Steve, I love you!

Steve is a green-fingered garden genius, and the latest addition to his produce selection is the bizarre and wonderful cucamelon - also known rather fabulously as "mouse melons". They are actually sour cucumbers which are eaten whole, but they look like mini cantaloupes.

Extensive Googling has failed to reveal how many calories per delightful crunchy mouthful, but given that it is basically cucumber I am assuming it is next to nothing. Food is fun!

In other excellent news, one of my work colleagues has taken the plunge and today is her first fast day. She and I have been friends for many years, and have battled through various diet tortures including a period of weekly WeightWatchers meetings, for which we should both get medals. With four weeks under my (ever-loosening) belt, I am somehow the expert although I am sure she will not need any advice. She will however receive my encouragement and support as well as sharing the celebration of her inevitable success. We are dining out together at Pret this lunchtime, so I get the benefit of great company as well as tasty food. Good luck my dear!

Wardrobe malfunction

My tights fell off.

Seriously.

This has never happened to me before. I was walking from the tube station to the office this morning - which takes all of about 5 minutes - and during that time my sheer neutral XL tights went from snug round my bum to rolled down to my knees. I was laughing so hard I barely made it into the office.

Now I admit, it could be that they are just a cheap pair of tights that have been washed many times and have finally given up the last of their elasticity. But I choose to believe that they are simply too large for me now. 

So I bared my legs to the office all day, and nobody fainted.

Not a fast day

AMEN.

Day Seven: the Bank Holiday edition

The whole country is basking in the last of the summer sunshine, having barbecues and generally enjoying themselves, so obviously I am fasting. This is mainly because I go back to work tomorrow after my long break and while I don't have any issues with fasting at work, I think I'm going to need a boost to get me up and out and through my first day back.

It has been a reasonably easy day, with strong coffee getting me through a trip to the cinema with the kids - I didn't actually miss the popcorn - and some delicious M&S tuna mooli wraps for lunch - once again indebted to Dream for finding these.

http://health.marksandspencer.com/our-health-ranges/delicious-and-nutritious

Despite some reasonable evidence to the contrary, I have again struggled with doubts about whether this will work. The mind is a devious place and sets all sorts of traps to catch you with self-doubt. I find myself thinking - how much will be good enough? If I am weighed after 6 weeks on the plan and have lost 6lbs, 4lbs, 2lbs... how much will be enough for me to feel it is working? If I go back to work tomorrow and nobody remarks on any difference in my appearance, how disappointed will I be? The four non-fast days between Day 6 and Day 7 felt like a very long time - what if I have undone all the hard work?

This is why I don't usually have scales in the house. However I bit the bullet yesterday and ordered a set. I have booked my follow-up appointment with my GP for 3 weeks today, but gritting my teeth and assuming this is all working and I am going to continue with it, I don't really want to have to go back every month to be weighed. I may ask my boyfriend to hide the scales in the meantime...

I know, I know, I'm doing this for me, for my health, and whatever the outcome it will have been good for me. But I'm only human, and my wobbly tummy reproaches me on a daily basis. Hopefully soon there will be less of it.

And another thing about sugar...

This article in the Daily Beast from 2 days ago focuses on the US healthcare system's issues with treatment as opposed to prevention.
http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/08/22/why-we-can-and-must-focus-on-preventing-alzheimer-s.html

But the underlying science is about the effect of sugar on risk of dementia - forget about the problems sugar causes to our bodies, it seems it's just as bad for our brains:

"Last week, a study published in The New England Journal of Medicine showed how levels of blood sugar directly relate to risk for dementia. The investigation followed over 2,000 elderly individuals for an average of 6.8 years and found that even small elevations of blood sugar translated into a significant increased risk for dementia, even among persons without diabetes."

So I'm carrying on the sweetener then! I've even managed to get used to some brands of coffee without either sugar or sweetener - but only the really good stuff! One small step at a time...

Day Six: the one we planned

OK I admit it, the planning and eating actual meals thing worked very well. In fact I've eaten so well today it's only the persistent hollow feeling in my stomach reminding me it's a fast day. The day has been full of vegetables. Apple for breakfast, salad for lunch and some delicious chicken and veggie skewers smothered in garlic and herbs on the bbq for dinner. It helped that we weren't out and about at mealtimes, which tends to lead to my random snacking on carrot sticks. I haven't felt sick all day, and only now in the evening am I feeling really tired and a bit woozy.

Helpful fast day food discoveries this week have included Kraft Light Italian Dressing at only 4kCal per tablespoon, which makes a huge difference to a bowl of salad; and although I hate to admit it, WeightWatchers frozen steam dinners - I had Chicken Chop Suey at 210kCal on Day 5 and it was actually very tasty. Definitely worth having some of those in the freezer for when cooking on a fast day seems just too much effort.

Tomorrow will be 3 weeks since I did the medical fast that set me on the path to this strategy. This morning I pulled on a pair of jeans that I bought a couple of months ago, and found that I could pull them on and off without undoing them. In fact they were slipping down so frequently during the day that investing in a decent belt has become a priority. I'm still resisting weighing and measuring but it's this sort of evidence that motivates me even more to stick with it even when Dream's dad is waving perfectly cooked steak under my nose.

As always, tomorrow, we eat!

Day Five: the holiday issue

I hate feeling sick. I can tolerate very high pain levels; I dislike colds and coughs but can cope with them; the itching and sneezing from hayfever drives me bonkers but can be dealt with. But nausea I find incredibly unpleasant. I was horribly nauseous throughout both my pregnancies which has made me loathe it even more. Getting to the point... I find the slight woozy sick feeling from fasting the hardest thing to cope with.

I pushed my limits with this today by fasting on a day we took the kids to a theme park. We are in deepest darkest Cornwall so this is not exactly Alton Towers. Most of the rides are aimed at smallish kids but there are one or two faster ones. I made the mistake of going on a self-powered ride that required hard pedalling for 5 minutes, followed by this:

Yes, it's a very slow gentle ride designed for the least brave riders. It kind of sways back and forth as it goes round. It took me about an hour and a cup of truly awful coffee to recover. 

I coped through most of the day on a punnet of tomatoes and a handful of carrot sticks. It wasn't exactly what Dream and I had planned (still not getting the planning thing sorted) and we both paid for it in the form of feeling rather unwell on and off all day. Even worse planning, after the theme park we had to go to a supermarket to buy picnic food for the beach tomorrow. Light-headed and starving, we were in mild hysterics and delirious at being surrounded by food we couldn't touch by the time we got to the checkout. 

We also realised that Dream and I manage fast days quite differently, as this was our first fast day spent together. I delay starting eating as long as possible and then graze through until a reasonable dinner in the early evening. This works fine when I am not doing anything remotely physically demanding, but walking around a theme park for 5 hours was tough. Dream prefers to have definite meals for breakfast, lunch and dinner, even if some of them are very small. Another beauty of the strategy is that we can have completely different approaches and still follow the plan. Plan, being the key word here. Day Six we will plan for properly. Honest.

The day after Day Four

I'd been awake for about two hours before I remembered I could eat something. It's amazing how quickly you can get used to ignoring that gnawing feeling in your stomach.

Yesterday I learned the importance of planning. Things didn't start well when the food I had prepared to take to work with me got left in the fridge in the early morning fuzz of my brain not being quite awake yet. I managed to replace them at the shop on the way to work, and actually managed most of the day quite easily. The mid-afternoon pangs I have noticed before didn't materialise and I left work around 5 feeling fine. Unfortunately I had planned to grab another Pret salad on the way home, but I got distracted in a book shop (long story) and was in the wrong area to get to Pret in enough time to get home on time. I ended up frantically searching around the local Tesco trying to find something that wouldn't blow the calorie budget, all the while feeling sicker and woozier. I eventually ended up with a plain salad and a pack of ham. I ate about half of it on the train. It was fine, and I was starving so I didn't care, but not exactly the yummy experience I had hoped for.

The lesson here - planning and remembering to take food with me will save me time and money and prevent dizzy spells!

Yesterday evening I went to see my consultant who has been advising me on some health issues. He suspects I have IBS (http://www.ibs-symptoms.co.uk/what-is-ibs) and we talked about how I could control my symptoms. I mentioned that over the last 2 weeks I've actually been feeling better and explained about the 5:2 strategy. Despite not having heard of it before he was very supportive of it and agreed that it could indeed help with my symptoms. It's possible that the current improvements are coincidental and/or temporary but we will continue to monitor progress.

I'm going away on holiday tomorrow with my boyfriend and Dream and my children. Getting through two fast days while away from home will be another challenge but Dream and I are determined to manage it somehow and I'm confident we can manage it. Having each other's support makes it all a lot easier.

Day Four: thoughts about sugar

After the mishap with the accidental coffee sugaring, my boyfriend has moved the sugar bowl to the top shelf where he thinks I can't reach it. I totally can if I stretch on my tippytoes... But the thought is a good one - it will prevent a repeat of the unintended calorie intake. He also pointed out that if I'm using sweetener on fast days, it makes sense to use it the rest of the time too. Not only will my palate become more accustomed to it, but I will save on the extra calories during the rest of the week. I did the sums - at 16kCal per teaspoonful, and an average of 3 cups of coffee a day (possibly an underestimate!) I will save around 1500kCal per month by switching to sweetener. This is definitely worth doing - it's like a bonus fast day every month. 

Sugar is pretty nasty stuff. I've read various bits of research over the years on how it is not simply "empty calories" but has some unpleasant side effects too. Apparently eating refined white flour has similar consequences. I'm not promoting the program described here but the health effects make disturbing reading.
http://nancyappleton.com/141-reasons-sugar-ruins-your-health/

In the news this week were the poor American mice failing to thrive when fed a diet consisting of 25% sugar - roughly equivalent to drinking three cans of sugary drinks a day but having an otherwise sugar-free diet in adult humans.
http://www.nature.com/news/safe-levels-of-sugar-harmful-to-mice-1.13555

Apart from the health issues, there is also the fact that the body changes sugar into 2 to 5 times more fat in the bloodstream than it does starch. So I'm feeling pretty good about cutting out as much as possible.

In the meantime, I survived Day 3 quite happily at home, and the day after was fine too. I feel like I'm eating less on my non-fast days ("feed" days?) but am trying not to think about it too much. One additional effect is a slight lowering of my alcohol intake. Yes, those of you who know me are falling about laughing at the thought, and no, I'm not about to give up my Pinot Grigio habit, hence the qualifier "slight". But not drinking on fast days, and not wanting to drink the day before and risk starting my fast day dehydrated, means not drinking 4 days out of 7. Which is an awful lot less drinking days than I'm used to. And of course, alcohol is another form of sugar...

Day Three: the miso issue

Dream and I spent some time over the weekend hunting down a supply of miso soup. This, she assured me, was to be our saviour on fast days, a clear tasty Japanese soup chock full of goodness and only 18kCal per cup. I am very keen on all sorts of soup so was eager to try it. I did some research and was even more keen - it has all kinds of super health benefits, plus being high in protein which helps ease hunger. Apparently, most of the Japanese population begins their day with a warm bowl of miso soup, believed to stimulate the digestion and energize the body. 

The 10 scientifically researched benefits of eating miso

1. Contains all essential amino acids, making it a complete protein.

2. Stimulates the secretion of digestive fluids in the stomach.

3. Restores beneficial probiotics to the intestines.

4. Aids in the digestion and assimilation of other foods in the intestines.

5. Is a good vegetable-quality source of B vitamins (especially B12).

6. Strengthens the quality of blood and lymph fluid.

7. Reduces risk for breast, prostate, lung and colon cancers.

8. Protects against radiation due to dipilocolonic acid, an alkaloid that chelates heavy metals and discharges them from the body.

9. Strengthens the immune system and helps to lower LDL cholesterol.

10. High in antioxidants that protects against free radicals.

http://www.care2.com/greenliving/10-benefits-and-uses-for-miso.html

The supermarkets seemed to be conspiring against us. We searched in the packet soup aisles and scoured the world food shelves. We had almost given up when we found it in Tesco, nestling amongst some equally obscure seaweed-based products. So today, with much ceremony, I made my first cup.

What my research had failed to uncover, was that it tastes like seawater. Warm, salty, slightly fishy seawater. I managed half a cup before it went cold and I found that cold seawater is even worse than warm seawater. Bleurgh.

However, I shall persist. A big part of the reason for doing this plan is for health benefits, and miso fits in with all those goals perfectly. I may try different brands, as apparently there are many different kinds and the flavour varies. Of course this relies on being able to find any in the shops - I feel a trip to Soho coming on.

Is it Day Three already?

It's nearly midday and so far I have eaten about 10 strawberries and I'm looking at the rest in the bowl and not feeling particularly inclined to eat them. 

Having been a little concerned about how the fasting would work when I'm not in the office, it has been surprisingly easy so far. One small mishap - I put sugar in my coffee without even thinking about it, and only realised once I had nearly finished the mug. Oops. The sweetener is now right next to the coffee pot. I'm just adding it in to my calorie count for the day.

I had a lovely relaxed weekend and ate lots of yummy food. I am now however wondering if I should bite the bullet and get some scales. Eating normally on non-fast days feels very counter-productive. If I had some scales to track my progress would I feel less concerned about what I eat on non-fast days? Or will it send me spiraling into obsessive weight watching? But what if there is no progress to track? Argh! I suspect there is part of me still doubting that this will work at all. I know it's early days but I don't feel any different and I guess I will be very disappointed if I don't get results. I have promised myself to stick to it for the 6 weeks whatever the outcome - it's really not that hard. Hopefully I will see some results by then that will give me confidence in my eating habits on the non-fast days.

The day after Day Two

Day Two was more of a struggle than Day One. I suspect this was partly because I didn't eat enough on the day in between. Although I may blame the blueberries - which I did of course finish because it was that or nothing else! I also found staying hydrated was a problem. I'm not a huge fan of drinking water on its own, so tend to go for squash or diet drinks. It was only on closer inspection that I found that Fanta Zero should actually be called Fanta 17. Even my favourite sugar-free squash has about 10kCal per serving, which when you are on 2000 calories a day is no problem, but 3 or 4 glasses of that takes a chunk out of a 500kCal allowance. I've found a nice Boots Shapers sparkling grapefruit which is only 7 kCal, but I suspect I'm going to have to get used to water at some point.

I inhaled my salad around 5:30pm - it was there right in front of me, and then, it wasn't - and was somewhat disconcerted to find that I still felt hungry. Mild panic ensued at the thought of being out for the evening while struggling with hunger. But after an hour of finishing off work and walking to meet my sister, it was no longer an issue, and in fact I felt quite full. Lesson: wait a while before deciding to eat more. I was fine for the rest of the night and slept well.

I spent a little while looking on Twitter for other people talking about the 5:2 strategy, using #thefastdiet and #52diet to search. I found the 5:2 Diet Forum which I joined but haven't had a chance to have a good look at yet. Unfortunately, some of the tweets I read were rather negative, people complaining of no "results" or that their weight loss was too slow for the monumental effort they were making. I know that logically this should not affect me - I don't know the circumstances of these people, whether they are following the plan properly or anything else that might affect their outcomes - but it still gave me a shudder of doubt. I'm not sure if I will use the forums for the same reason i.e. I don't want to be infected with gloom. If this strategy is right for me, which I am optimistic that it is, then hearing the thoughts of those less successful will not help me at all.

This morning Dream and I breakfasted in style at our favourite local caff. I struggled to finish - in fact I didn't even try - and felt rather bloated and sick afterwards. I don't intend to stop eating there, but suspect smaller portions will be in order. It feels very strange to be out eating regular food in the middle of a concerted effort to lose weight. 

Next week my fast days will switch to Monday and Wednesday. Monday will be a new challenge as I will be at home and have my kids with me for the afternoon. Wednesday in the office should be straightforward. I intend to blog every fast day, but not necessarily in between - unless some profound revelation occurs to me that I feel the need to share immediately...

In the meantime, I have a glass of crisp white wine awaiting me.

Day Two: The when

My blueberries taste funny. It occurs to me that I'm not entirely sure what they are supposed to taste like. I have eaten them before, of course, but never on their own, or more than a few at a time. They taste slightly earthy. I'm not sure if I like them. I am sure that I'm not going to eat the entire punnet. They seemed like such a good idea when they were sitting on the shelf next to the strawberries I bought on Tuesday. Never mind, that's 100 kCal I can "spend" on something else.

So here I am again, fast day number 2. There is a lot of discussion and variation amongst the IF community about what days to fast on. Some people like to do two days in a row, others prefer to spread them out. Some people like to do them on days they are busy, others on days when they are resting. The general consensus is that as far as the health and weight loss benefits of the strategy goes, it doesn't seem to make any difference. Again, it can be varied to suit the individual.

When I first considered trying this strategy, my immediate thought was that I couldn't fast on days I work in my office. I commute about 30 miles by train into London, three days a week, and generally find my office days quite exhausting. The thought of doing that on an empty stomach seemed far too difficult. However I ended up doing Day 1 on an office day, simply because I had decided to do it and wanted to get started as soon as possible. As Mimi Spencer says in the BOOK, when asked when is a good time to start fasting, the answer is "yesterday".

As it turns out, fasting on a work day is a very good idea for me. I'm busy and therefore distracted, and am not in proximity to my kitchen full of goodies at home. The day goes faster (see what I did there?) so it seems less challenging. Luckily for me I rarely eat lunch with colleagues at work, so I don't have to deal with dropping out of that activity. It looks like my regular days will be Tuesday and Thursday. Possibly slightly closer together than I would have liked - Monday and and Thursday feels more natural, but I work at home on a Monday and suspect I would struggle. Having said that, next week my work pattern is all messed up due to kids holidays, so I will have to make alterations. Hurrah for a flexible strategy.

This evening is another mini-challenge, as I won't be going home for dinner. I'm meeting my wonderful sister (hello sis!) and going out to the theatre. As always, I can rely on Dream to come up with a perfect solution for me. She has pointed me at Pret a Manger, which has a branch very close to my office. Their completely scrumptious salad boxes come in at between 200 and 300 kCal (without dressing, which I never put on anyway). So I will be scoffing down one of those before going out.


http://www.pret.com/menu/sushi_salads_soups/tuna_nicoise_salad_PUK5185.shtm

My beloved Dream is doing her very own Day 1 today in much more challenging circumstances - on her own in her employer's house. I am sending her encouraging and un-hungry vibes. Tomorrow we breakfast at the local greasy spoon, with guilt free consciences. 

The day after Day One

I slept really badly. I don't sleep particularly well at the best of times, but I lay awake for even longer than usual, and kept waking throughout the night. I don't think this has anything to do with the fasting - I slept fine after the medical fast last week, and it wasn't feeling hungry that kept me awake. But my brain was in overdrive and wouldn't let me rest. Or possibly it was too much coffee late in the afternoon. Who knows. I'm sure it will work itself out. I woke up feeling groggy but not particularly hungry. 

One effect I noted with interest in the BOOK is that people on IF find that the food they eat first the day after a fast tastes particularly spectacular. When I did the medical fast last week, the first thing I ate the next day was some kind of green soup at the hospital - no idea what was in it but I wish I'd asked, it was wonderful. I may have gone on about it rather a lot at the time, but in my defence I was still feeling the effect of the sedatives. Poor Dream had to listen to me rambling on about it.

I ate a bagel with cream cheese later this morning and have been snacking on tomatoes and raw carrots this afternoon. I can't say I was overwhelmed by the bagel any more than usual, and I do love bagels. We shall see if I get any mouthgasms on future occasions.

I'm hungry but don't feel like eating. I suspect that it is very easy to get used to feeling hungry or empty and ignoring it. I may need to think about on what I eat on my non-fast days, to make sure I get enough food, but I am not logging on the Fitness Pal - I don't want to be in a diet mentality where I question the nutritional value of everything I put in my mouth. Fitness Pal is for fast days.

I have a tendency to want to do everything perfectly first time, and to get put off if I make mistakes. I am making a conscious effort to not worry about getting this right - the whole point is to experiment and make the strategy work for me. This is one of the reasons I won't be weighing myself at home - I have some time for any wobbles in the plan to even themselves out.

Now where did I put that cake...

Day One: Pictures and Numbers

I don't have scales in my house. On the occasions in the past that I have made a concerted attempt to lose weight, I have become obsessive about weighing myself, sometimes several times a day, and I know that for my mental health this is not an advisable activity.

My GP weighed me yesterday, and I came in at 108kg. She has invited me to go back in 6 weeks for another weigh-in. I figure that's a pretty good length of time for me to give this a really good go and see some results that are meaningful in the scale of the task ahead of me. Knowing that I might lose a half a kilo in a week would be neither here nor there. Losing 3 kilos in 6 weeks I could be more pleased with.

For the first time in any of my attempts, I have decided to take an accurate measure of my size and make a photographic record. This is a pretty big deal for me. I generally hate having my photo taken, for obvious reasons, and hate looking at the results even more. The fact that I'm willing to put these out here is a measure of my faith and determination that this is going to bloody well work!

So here are my starting stats and pictures:

Waist 47"
Under bust 42"
Full bust 46"
Hips 54"
Right thigh 30"
Right arm 14.5"

I've now eaten my chicken and vegetables, all 300kCal of them, and I feel absolutely stuffed. My sweet loving boyfriend ate the same food and declared it delicious. And then had pudding! I didn't actually want any. If every fast day goes this well, and the promised results are forthcoming, this could be one hell of a ride.

Day One: The how much

I am being joined on this fun filled journey by my best friend ever in the whole world, the fabulous and funky Dream. This is a VERY GOOD THING because Dream is not only an extraordinary cook who could make cardboard taste like a mouthgasm, but she also has the patience and skills to do research and come up with new and interesting ideas.

I'm not going to go into the details of how the 5:2 strategy works or what it involves, because you can find all that elsewhere. It is enough to say, that for 2 days in every 5, you limit your food intake to 500 kCal (for a woman - men get 600, as always, so unfair). So my jump-straight-in gung-ho approach is - no problem, I'll eat a bunch of carrot sticks and wing it. To be fair, I decided that I was going to start this yesterday evening so I haven't had a great deal of time to plan terribly carefully, but the truth is, I'm not very good at the planning side of things, so having Dream by my side exponentially increases my chances of success.

She has already pointed me at http://www.myfitnesspal.com/ in order that I can track how many calories I eat on fast days. I have tried various calorie counters over the years, and generally found them very tedious and complicated to use. Plus, I tend to rebel against the concept of calorie counting - isn't the whole point of this strategy that I don't have to bother with all that? But, I concede that at least to start with, knowing how much food contains 500kCal is pretty important, and I have very little clue.  It would be rather pathetic to mess it up by wrongly estimating my intake right from the start. And, of course, 5 days a week I can happily ignore it.

Luckily the Fitness Pal calorie counter is a doddle to use. It loaded up on my Android phone in seconds and I have already tapped in today's feast. I'm hoping I will find some way to export the contents to this blog but that will require me to actually pay attention and do some research, so don't hold your breath. 

In the meantime, I started off today with 2 cups of coffee. I am lucky that I am not a fan of milky coffee - put a cappuccino under my nose and I'm likely to vomit. So I don't have to deprive myself of that treat - a latte can be up to 300kCal! However, I do put sugar in my black coffee, and can't see myself getting used to it unsweetened. I figure I can either carry on with the sugar and include it as part of my allowance, or try sweetener. Today I have done both. This morning's flask had 2 sugars in it, costing me 36kCal. This afternoon I am trying sweetener and frankly can't taste the difference. Better buy some of that for home then!

So far today I have eaten 400g of delicious sweet strawberries, which my new pal tells me is 132kCal. I grazed them over the whole morning and don't feel hungry at the moment - there have been a few pangs, hence the coffee. 

When I first considered doing this, the idea of cooking up a 300 kCal dinner seemed pointless. I figured I would just snack on carrots (getting a theme here?) and not bother with proper meals. The recipes in the 5:2 cookbook didn't make sense - all that effort for so little sustenance? However, I'm now getting the concept of quality over quantity. Taking inspiration from the BOOK and loading up the ingredients into my phone, I am looking forward to chicken and roast vegetables for dinner. Like, really looking forward to it! If I'm going to eat so little, I might as well make it really yummy. Dinner, at the table, paying attention to each mouthful. Sounds like a good habit to get into.

Day One: The why

I am fat. In fact, I am morbidly obese. At a height of 5'4" (163cm) I weigh nearly 17 stone (over 100kg) giving me a BMI of over 40. This is NOT GOOD for any number of health reasons, most urgent of which are the significantly increased chances of developing diabetes, heart disease and cancer. My father has diabetes and both my parents have high blood pressure. At a recent health check, my cholesterol results were higher than the acceptable range. I have constant pain in my hips, knees and ankles which gets significantly worse if I attempt any form of exercise e.g. gently walking further than about half a mile. I snore terribly, which means I don't sleep well. Lack of sleep and exercise means my energy levels are generally low - I'm tired pretty much all of the time.

However, none of this is big news. I have been overweight for most of my adult life, although my descent into whale-like status has accelerated over the last 9 years since having children. I have tried various methods of food deprivation, including Weight Watchers, hypnosis, gym and running regimes, although I have never been able to bring myself to attempt the Atkins/Slimfast/cabbage soup torture. My weight has caused my mental state to rollercoaster between mild irritation at not being able to wear the clothes that I would like to, to being a contributing factor in full blown clinical depression. This has been going on for a LONG TIME - I am 43 years old.

So why now? Why today? Why is today Day One?

Several things have happened recently. Most significantly, I have taken control over many other aspects of my life, part and parcel of which was separating from my husband of 14 years. While that is a whole other story that I am not going in to here, a by-product of the process is that I am now more confident, more calm, more in control and more optimistic than at any other time of my life that I can remember. And I want to LIVE!! There are so many things I want to do, so many pleasures to experience, and my body is holding me back. Quite literally. If you have never been large around the middle you won't know the utter misery of trying to tie up shoelaces and breathe at the same time. And I want to do stuff that is a lot more fun and demanding that tying shoelaces.

Very recent attempts to introduce regular physical exercise into my life have been painfully frustrating. Hip and ankle injuries sustained over the last few years have never entirely healed. My doctor won't refer me for treatment as ultimately it is my weight that is preventing my joints from restoring themselves. I actually like being physically active. I love walking. But when every second step has me reeling as the stabbing pain in my hip leaves me breathless, it's hard to stay motivated.

I have wanted for a long time to attack this problem. I have formulated goals, but had no realistic strategy by which to achieve them. I looked seriously at surgery - a close friend has had spectacular results with a gastric band. But I just felt I hadn't tried enough less radical solutions yet. Surgery should be a last resort, surely.

The 5:2 strategy, or intermittent fasting (IF) fell into my lap over the last few days. I had heard of it before, in articles about DODO dieting (Day On Day Off) and passing discussions with friends. My initial reaction was to dismiss it as another fad, and as probably unachievable - go for a whole day without food, twice a week? You gotta be kidding me. I'd pass out before lunchtime.

However last week, I had to do a 24-hour fast. I needed some medical tests (I haven't even started on my other medical issues) which required me to consume nothing but clear fluids for a day beforehand. In fact it ended up being nearer 30 hours by the time the test was complete and I was allowed to eat again. I was very apprehensive, and spent the day smoking, drinking sweet black coffee and thinking about it all far too much. By the evening I was feeling quite weak and wobbly, and gratefully swallowed some clear soup. But the next morning? I wasn't hungry. In fact I felt fine. In fact I felt really great.

Then yesterday my doctor, despairing at my complaints of joint pain, suggested the 5:2 strategy. She said go look it up on the internet. And I thought, you know, I could actually do this. In fact I know I can, because I survived last week and that was with no planning and a somewhat negative attitude. 

I'm very excited about this. Having devoured the medical evidence presented in the BOOK, I feel that even if I don't lose weight, the health benefits could be spectacular. But hey, who am I kidding. I'm doing it to lose weight. Finally, I have a strategy that I am confident will work and I know I am capable of putting into action.

Hurray for me :)

Day One: The what

The instructions say you should write stuff down. I don't have a problem with this. I like writing stuff. Especially stuff about myself. What could be more interesting than me? While I am therefore writing this solely for my benefit, and have no expectation that anyone else will read it, I rather like doing it in a public way. Writing as if addressing a complete stranger makes me delve a little further into explanations and meanings. I can't assume that my reader knows what the hell I'm going on about, so I'm more likely to be thorough with my blatherings, which in turn is good for me as it forces me to analyse more carefully.

So what am I doing here? Today is Day One of a new approach to eating. I am not going to call it a diet, because: reasons. Diets are boring, depressing and ultimately futile. The BOOK (the bible of my new approach, of which more later) quotes someone as describing it as a strategy. This I like. Strategy is a good description.

Some definitions of strategy from the oracle that is Wikipedia:

• Strategy is a high level plan to achieve one or more goals under conditions of uncertainty.
• "a pattern in a stream of decisions" 
• "strategy is about shaping the future" 
• the human attempt to get to "desirable ends with available means"

So yes, I have goals, I have a high level plan, I have available means and life in general is always uncertain, so I think I'm all there with the strategy.

Starting with the goal then. The goal is to live a life with less pain, less illness, more health, more energy, more happiness. The strategy to achieve that is to lose some weight in a structured way that medical research shows to also give rise to the stated goal.

The plan is to follow The Fast Diet http://thefastdiet.co.uk/. Except I'm not calling it a diet because the word makes me want to stick my head in a bucket of water. So maybe it's the Darkling Plain Fasting Strategy. I'm hoping it doesn't actually need a name because it's just going to be how I live a normal life, from now on.

Before getting into the how of it, I want to cover the why first. Obviously I know why, or I wouldn't be here, but I want to have a record of why I am starting out on this caper so I can refer back to it should the going get rough.